narcotic:

Please dont start seeing me the way i see myself.

(via coffeeandrain-itsallthesame)

casualbutthole:

jesussbabymomma:

casualbutthole:

jesussbabymomma:

I LOVE JOKES THAT ARE SO TERRIBLE THEY BECOME FUNNY IRONICALLY I LITERALLY LAUGH SO HARD AT THOSE ITS EMBARASSING

Why couldn’t the man find his map

why

Because he lost his map

(via coffeeandrain-itsallthesame)

vwhiskers:

strider-e-bubbles:

I opened up a new tab to go to another site but i instinctively typed t and enter and came back to tumblr. god damn it.

image

(via funny-text-posts)

hitlersbreastmilk:

imagine if u could hear ur hair growing

(Source: , via suspend)

My best friend texted me, he asked if I looked nice right now. I told him no, and he said to get ready so I look good, not to him, but to myself. Only text him back If I felt happy with how I looked. This confused me but I didn’t ask questions. I just got ready, and finally after an hour or two, I told him I felt happy with how I looked, sort of. The door rang about 10 minutes later, and my friends told me to come with them to the park. This confused me but I didn’t ask questions, I was bored anyways. We walked to the park, it wasn’t that far, and they said to sit on the swing set. I didn’t really like the swings at this park because it was the very place my first love broke up with me & shattered my heart. Just sitting on the swing hurt a bit, I went into silence at the memories. Suddenly, I was blindfolded. When my friends took it off, there he was. The boy who told me to get ready, I liked this boy, he was my best friend. He handed me a rose and got down on his knee. “I know this is one of your least favorite places. I also know you stopped believing in love after 2 shots to the chest. And you don’t like change. But this is good change, I think. I want to change this swingset from the place where you closed your door to love to the place where it just began. I’ve sat by & watched you get hurt long enough. You’re beautiful, smart, talented, sweet, funny. And impatient. So, I won’t drag this out. I love you, & I’d like to be your boyfriend…Will you go out with me?” This boy was my 3rd love, he made me feel special. It’s been 5 long years, and just today, he said those exact words. To propose.


(Source: -nicolelyn, via tear-soaked-cheeksdonteverlast)

the-grace-of-cas:

sonianeverland:

hey

hey friend

dont kill yourself tonight ok

you have a really pretty smile and i know its not always easy to manage one but itd be a bummer if we never had the chance to see it ever again

youre really important and you matter a lot so stay safe and try and have a nice sleep

I would like a moment to thank the people who reblog post like this so that it eventually shows on my dash.

It is keeping me alive.

(Source: bromoyed, via tear-soaked-cheeksdonteverlast)

untilyourbreathingst0ps:

pearls:

pearls:

i touched a dick once and it was the scariest thing in my life because it had a really cold head and i don’t know it wasn’t fun

sometimes the ‘i’ and ‘u’ shouldn’t be so close on the keyboard 

ive seen this post umpteen times and ive always thought that if you switched u and i around it wouldn’t make sense like “u touched a” and i literally just realised you meant duck and not dick i swear to god i am the biggest fucking idiot.

(Source: gingerbreadlou, via tear-soaked-cheeksdonteverlast)

niallj:

i probably still have a crush on danny phantom somewhere deep in my soul

(Source: moonemoji, via tear-soaked-cheeksdonteverlast)

tequilafemina:

A few minutes ago my coworker said “The sexual position formerly known as 69 will now be referred to as 96. Due to the economy, the price of eating out has gone up.”

My boss is still crying.

(Source: 9tequilafemina, via tear-soaked-cheeksdonteverlast)

exoticwild:

What I’m really terrified of is leading an average, ordinary life with a regular job and an invariable routine, planned holidays, an average household, fixed responsibilities and not doing anything different to be remembered by.

(via tear-soaked-cheeksdonteverlast)

burgrs:

[sprays u with water] no, bad opinion 

(via suspend)

(Source: the-lowerigo, via purrityring)

Kreon by Stijn.